The Way

This film showed a realistic depiction of grief and sadness. Tom's struggle over his son's death really touched me and reminded me that grief is healed slowly with the help of friends and family. Additionally, the pilgrims' desire to improve their lives was inspiring. The way Tom evolved throughout the journey showed true personal growth, and his purpose for walking the Camino evolved along the way. He started out looking for a way to deal with the death of his son, but during the journey, it became more about Tom himself finding a better way to live his life. Tom did not just deal with his son's death, he improved himself. The movie showed that the pilgrimage is a really positive experience, no matter what the goal or purpose. Both religious or personal reasons are noble pursuits.

Mixed Messages

While I think Emily Reimer-Barry makes some good points about the way women are treated within the Catholic Church, I think it is important to recognize the positive messages sent to women. For example, the Church clearly states, with no room for doubt, that men and women are equal. This message is at the heart of feminism, and the Church's statement is very significant and powerful in today's society. The Church also encourages all people, especially young women, to respect and honor their bodies as a gift from God. This message encourages women to recognize their worth and treat themselves with the dignity they deserve. A lot of these messages have been translated to me through my years of Catholic schooling. Especially in high school, I have been taught that being a woman means being a powerful "agent of change." Although some of the message are a bit lofty, they convey an important message that being female does not make me any less of a person. Quite the contrary, it makes me a strong and powerful person capable of just about anything. However, as with anything, there are always some negative messages mixed in with the positive ones. I have heard many of the traditional opinions about the differences between men and women. For example, some people still believe that a woman's sphere is the home, and that this responsibility should come above all else. Nevertheless, the many positive messages tend to override the few negative ones.

Abortion

Bryan Cones's article sends a very different message than what one typically finds in Catholic publications. However, I completely agree with what he is saying. He is taking a very practical approach that better fits what the modern world needs. While I understand that the Church would not want to given up on such an important ideological belief as pro-life, I think it is worth noting that more lives may be lost from unsafe abortions than from safe abortions. In a safe abortion, the fertilized egg dies, destroying one life in the Church's opinion, but an unsafe abortion can lead to two deaths: the mother and the fertilized egg. I also think Cones brings up a good point that having access to birth control dramatically decreases the number of abortions. By providing some type of contraception to women in developing nations, the abortion rate would drop greatly. If the Catholic Church could consider these other factors, they might be able to develop a new position that better fits with modern society and modern views on abortion.

IVF

The main pro of IVF is the opportunity for an infertile couple to experience the joy of parenthood. It allows couples who don’t want to adopt the opportunity to have a child of their own. Cons are the high cost and the possibility that certain embryos may be destroyed, thus ending life. While I believe the Church makes valid points, I don’t believe that a couple who uses IVF because they can’t get pregnant is doing anything wrong. If two people are so dedicated to having children, then they should be able to pursue any and all possible options to do so. If a couple is worried about preserving life, then they can make the commitment to use all of the embryos. The pain of being unable to have children is very difficult, and I believe that given the opportunity by modern science and technology to have a child, people should be able to make that choice. In my opinion, the cost of IVF does not change whether or not it is morally correct.

He's Just Not That Into You

The relationship between Beth and Neil is a perfect example of how being married is more than having a wedding and signing a slip of paper. Even though Beth wants to be married, a completely normal wish, it takes losing Neil to realize he was more of a husband to her than her sisters’ actual husbands were to them. She realizes that their life together already has everything she thinks she’ll get in a marriage; they just never signed a piece of paper. Their commitment to one another is built on love, trust, loyalty, and respect. The scene where Beth walks into the kitchen and sees Neil washing dishes is a great example of what it means to be in a relationship. It means being there for the person you love in good times and in bad times. At the exact moment when Beth needed someone to help her and comfort her, Neil was there, committed as ever to Beth. Although Neil ended up giving in and proposing, a plot point I didn’t entirely agree with, he showed an important component of a committed relationship: dedication to making the other person happy.

Gigi is an example of someone who is unable to find a happy, successful relationship because she is not happy and secure with herself. She misreads “signals” and overanalyzes her dates, then worries incessantly when guys don’t call her back. She does not see herself or her relationships clearly, and is further enabled by her friend Janine who is not honest with her. It takes Alex’s brutal honesty for Gigi to make a positive change. She becomes more confident in herself and less dependent on finding a boyfriend. Gigi’s struggles show that healthy relationships require individuals who are happy with themselves. They also show that happiness does not depend solely on the success of romantic relationships.

The Changing Face of Marriage

My experience with the ‘domestic church’ has been my Catholic schooling and the Christian principles my parents have taught me. Growing up, I attended church every weekend, and my parents consistently encouraged my sister and me to practice Catholic values of honesty, kindness, generosity, etc. Based on what I viewed in “He’s Just Not That Into You” I believe the changing structure of marriage is positive in many ways. First, the growing acceptance of all types of families and marriages—not just the cookie-cutter man, woman, 2.5 kids—is a wonderful trend that allows all people to find the “happily ever after” that fits their specific situation. Also, while divorce rates have skyrocketed in the last few decades, one positive is that people are not forced by society to remain in unhappy, harmful, or destructive relationships. Considering all of these factors, I hope to someday raise my kids in an environment with Christian values, but more importantly, with acceptance of all people and all types of families and marriages. 

Dating

The anti-daters criticize the practice of dating for several reasons. First, the believe that dating is essentially practice for divorce, in which conflict causes the couple to break up. They believe the temporary nature of dating is the heart of the problem. I completely disagree with this view. Dating allows us to figure out what qualities are important to us in a partner. If you don't date, you don't know how to be in a relationship, and that can also lead to divorce. Also, other than an arranged marriage, there is no way to get married without dating first. You have to meet someone and get to know one another first in order to get married and have a loving relationship. If you follow what the anti-daters say, that would imply that the first person you meet in a romantic way has to be the one you marry in order to avoid dating and "practicing for divorce."
Those who support dating say that dating prepares us for a successful marriage in which we know how to treat one another. Also, they say that dating offers possibilities for personal transformation not found in other relationships. I agree with this; I believe dating is essential for building a successful relationship. I don't see dating as against God's story of love. I think it's in line with building successful, loving, faithful relationships.
The anti-dater's point of view is very opposed to the modern dating culture. Young adults often feel pressured to be in relationships and worry about finding someone to spend their life with. Dating is such a crucial part of being a young adult in his/her 20s. It is one of the main social activities.

Love Story Reflection

My parents’ love story has set a positive example for me of what a real-life relationship looks like. My parents have never sugarcoated what marriage is like. They have been honest with me and my sister, often telling us that marriage is a lot of work, but if you give it the time and effort it deserves, it is really wonderful and rewarding. Learning more about the specifics of their relationship has helped me to better understand my parents. I am more aware of the values they believe are important in a marriage and in a family.

My parents’ love story is very different from the dramatic romantic relationships portrayed in movies and on TV. There was no epic first meeting or grand proposal. They had a simple, realistic courtship, but it suited my parents. A lot of the married couples I’ve seen in romantic comedies portray this image of marital bliss where fighting and conflict are noticeably absent. This is a completely inaccurate portrait of marriage. Conflict is an inevitable and normal part of marriage that, when handled correctly, is healthy. Married couples are not going to be completely happy and on the same page about everything for the rest of their lives. Romantic comedies tend to portray getting married as the solution to all problems and unhappiness in life. This unrealistic idea that getting married will “complete” you can set young people up for disappointment in marriage. One romantic comedy that I think portrays a more realistic couple is I Don’t Know How She Does It. In the movie, Sarah Jessica Parker portrays a working mom with young kids. She and her husband both have jobs and very hectic lives. The movie portrayed the two having fights and disagreements, having stressful days, making difficult decisions, and experiencing many other normal parts of life and marriage. This depiction of marriage is much more in line with the story and lessons my parents have told me.

Kip Moore’s song “Hey Pretty Girl” is a good representation of what it means to share a life with someone. I chose this song because it shows real love that is both strong and lasting. The song references both the good and the bad in life and sends the message that having someone to share forever with is both a challenge and a blessing. It doesn’t say that life will be perfect when you find your soul mate, it will just be better. Moore sings, “Life’s a long and winding ride, better have the right one by your side.” Moore also sings about building a life together, saying “Let’s build some dreams and a house on a piece of land. We’ll plant some roots.” Finally, at the end, Moore does not romanticize his relationship or make it out to be something it isn’t. In the last line, he thanks God, singing, “When I see the light and it’s my time to go, I’m gonna thank the Lord for a real good life, a pretty little girl and a beautiful wife.”

Love and Soul Mates

I believe a lot of the typical qualities such as mutual respect, friendship, attraction, and loyalty are important in committed relationships. I also think shared life goals, similar views on family, and openness are key to a happy, successful marriage. In order to share your life with someone, you should want similar things in life. Another important component of a committed relationship is the promise to stay with someone through thick and thin and to accept them for all they are, both the good and bad. Nobody is perfect, and part of finding healthy love is accepting and celebrating one’s imperfections. I think a lot of television, movie, and music portrayals of love include these qualities along with the more dramatic parts of love. For example, in “Dark Side,”  Kelly Clarkson sings, “Everybody’s got a dark side… Can you love mine? Nobody’s a picture perfect, but we’re worth it.” In “Makin’ Me Fall in Love Again,” Kellie Pickler mentions that a long-term relationship takes work. She says, “ I gotta tell you there’s nothin’ better than you and me together, workin’ on forever.” Carrie Underwood talks about selfless love in “Who Are You,” singing “Who are you, the one for whom I’d really gladly suffer.” Blake Shelton references God’s role in love in “God Gave Me You.” He sings, “God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubts. And for when I think I lost my way.” “You and Me” by Dave Matthews Band talks about the endless possibilities two people have in love. The song shows two young people in love with the whole world to see.

I don’t believe in soul mates. I don’t think that there is only one person out there for everyone, and that only that person can make them truly and completely happy. I think there are many people that can make someone happy and love them completely. I think the idea of soul mates sets unrealistic expectations that will only disappoint people later. I think it is much more practical to see the search for “the one” as a search for one person who can make them happy. That one person could be any number of people, not just one single person whom we should search for.

Gender Views

Adults, in a subtle way, have sent the message that girls should be feminine, pretty, into clothes and makeup, emotional, and soft-spoken. Boys should be masculine, athletic, tough, and unemotional. These messages of gender stereotypes have come from adults such as aunts, uncles, and grandparents with traditional views. However, most adults have encouraged me and my sister to be who we are, whether or not we fit the female stereotype. But over the years, some relatives have made subtle suggestions about how girls should react to certain situations while telling my male cousins the opposite.

Going to an all-girls school has slightly blinded me to gender issues, but in a positive way. It has allowed me to be who I am without worrying about being the “right” kind of girl. Meeting girls with different hobbies, different ideas, and different personalities has kept me from developing a specific idea about who girls should be and how they should act. As a result, identifying myself as a woman doesn’t mean anything specific; it means being able to do and be anything I want.

I think the influence of adults and the media has made me subconsciously expect that men will hold the “traditional” role in a relationship: holding doors, paying, and doing physical chores. However, I don’t necessarily want that or believe that’s the way it should be. I also don’t expect that women will fill the “traditional” feminine role of cooking, cleaning, etc. I believe a lot of these expectations and stereotypes come from what I see in the relationships of my older relatives and from TV, movies, etc.

Miss Representation Reflection

It's very easy to believe that we are not affected by the media, that we are above the tricks and subtle messages, that recognizing the inaccuracies and objectifications makes us immune to their effects. However, watching Miss Representation and reading the article on U.S. Catholic online made me stop and question whether the media alters my perception of what is acceptable. Both have made me realize that the media's portrayal of women as sexual objects has affected what I view as normal. I often do not recognize many of the subtle messages this sexualization sends. Seeing the many examples of objectification in Miss Representation made me understand how harmful and pervasive this portrayal of women is on young girls and on society as a whole.

In many ways, I feel I have been sheltered from the role gender plays in society. Attending an all-girls school where powerful women are valued and looked up to, where young women are taught that they have the power to do anything they want, has insulated me from the reality that many other girls face. I have come to realize that although other girls like me see their value in their intelligence and personality, the majority of girls feel their only value lies in their sexuality. The sad reality is that they see their looks and attractiveness to boys as their most important quality. I believe that if other girls were taught to see themselves as smart, powerful, hard-working, and important, they wouldn't be so susceptible to the media's influence.

While I have not experienced any significant amount of sexism in the workplace, I have witnessed subtle examples and I expect to experience the role of gender in the future. At my current job, males and females are treated equally, yet on occasion, certain tasks are assigned to specifically boys or specifically girls. For example, boys are asked to take out the trash and lift heavy boxes whereas girls are asked to organize shelves and color-coordinate files. While these differences seem harmless on the surface and generally do not upset anyone in my workplace, they do show the larger issues that society faces. Males are expected to be strong and capable of performing physically difficult tasks whereas women are expected to be good at organization and other "home management" type tasks. Yet expecting people to conform to these ideals prevents people from being true to themselves. The stereotyping affects both males and females, and while this is only a small example, it can still have negative effects on people.

Personal Mission Statement

My mission is to find happiness, fulfillment, and value in living by contenting myself in my surroundings. To dedicate myself to every goal I choose to pursue. To use my talents for good and always have the best of intentions. To act honorably and graciously in situations that are challenging. To expect the best from people and appreciate differences and diversity. To continually learn throughout my life. To enjoy every day of my life and find laughter, love, and happiness along the way.

Identity

The service trip I went on two summers ago was my real first experience with community service outside of the occasional weekly trips to LaSalle Academy and St. Francis Inn. It was a turning point in my interest in service, and encouraged me to increase my commitment. I resumed playing piano for the residents at the Villa and started going to LaSalle more frequently. That led to becoming at CSC officer and finding an activity that I really cared about. That initial experience and all the other service opportunities I’ve had since then have changed the way I look at myself and my future. It has shaped my college search and future career ideas.

http://www.justiceworx.org/

Last January, my family and I went on a trip to Israel. The trip changed my perspective on many things. It was the first place I had traveled to that felt one hundred percent different from my home. On other trips, the destination often bore remarkable similarities to home, but Israel was entirely different. Everything about the country felt foreign, but in a good way. It introduced me to a way of life that I had only ever heard and read about. The people I met and the places I visited inspired my desire to see the world and the diversity of life. Additionally, although the trip was in no way a religious pilgrimage, the trip made me think about religion in a new way. Seeing people fall to their knees in front of famous religious sites and artifacts was strange to me, yet it was inspiring to see their passion. I have never really felt strongly about my own religion, but visiting a place divided by religion made me consider my own Catholic faith. While I wouldn’t say the trip strengthened my faith, it did make me stop and think about what I believe in, something I’d never really done before.

My older sister has affected my identity in several ways. As my best friend, she has been consistently supportive of me and has been a source of advice over the past few years as I’ve had to make important decisions. She has taught me a lot about what it truly means to grow up, become an adult, and have responsibilities. Also, seeing her change her major and her plans for the future forced me to look critically at my own ideas for my future. Her choices have shown me that I need to make my own decisions in order to make myself happy.