The Changing Face of Marriage

My experience with the ‘domestic church’ has been my Catholic schooling and the Christian principles my parents have taught me. Growing up, I attended church every weekend, and my parents consistently encouraged my sister and me to practice Catholic values of honesty, kindness, generosity, etc. Based on what I viewed in “He’s Just Not That Into You” I believe the changing structure of marriage is positive in many ways. First, the growing acceptance of all types of families and marriages—not just the cookie-cutter man, woman, 2.5 kids—is a wonderful trend that allows all people to find the “happily ever after” that fits their specific situation. Also, while divorce rates have skyrocketed in the last few decades, one positive is that people are not forced by society to remain in unhappy, harmful, or destructive relationships. Considering all of these factors, I hope to someday raise my kids in an environment with Christian values, but more importantly, with acceptance of all people and all types of families and marriages. 

Dating

The anti-daters criticize the practice of dating for several reasons. First, the believe that dating is essentially practice for divorce, in which conflict causes the couple to break up. They believe the temporary nature of dating is the heart of the problem. I completely disagree with this view. Dating allows us to figure out what qualities are important to us in a partner. If you don't date, you don't know how to be in a relationship, and that can also lead to divorce. Also, other than an arranged marriage, there is no way to get married without dating first. You have to meet someone and get to know one another first in order to get married and have a loving relationship. If you follow what the anti-daters say, that would imply that the first person you meet in a romantic way has to be the one you marry in order to avoid dating and "practicing for divorce."
Those who support dating say that dating prepares us for a successful marriage in which we know how to treat one another. Also, they say that dating offers possibilities for personal transformation not found in other relationships. I agree with this; I believe dating is essential for building a successful relationship. I don't see dating as against God's story of love. I think it's in line with building successful, loving, faithful relationships.
The anti-dater's point of view is very opposed to the modern dating culture. Young adults often feel pressured to be in relationships and worry about finding someone to spend their life with. Dating is such a crucial part of being a young adult in his/her 20s. It is one of the main social activities.

Love Story Reflection

My parents’ love story has set a positive example for me of what a real-life relationship looks like. My parents have never sugarcoated what marriage is like. They have been honest with me and my sister, often telling us that marriage is a lot of work, but if you give it the time and effort it deserves, it is really wonderful and rewarding. Learning more about the specifics of their relationship has helped me to better understand my parents. I am more aware of the values they believe are important in a marriage and in a family.

My parents’ love story is very different from the dramatic romantic relationships portrayed in movies and on TV. There was no epic first meeting or grand proposal. They had a simple, realistic courtship, but it suited my parents. A lot of the married couples I’ve seen in romantic comedies portray this image of marital bliss where fighting and conflict are noticeably absent. This is a completely inaccurate portrait of marriage. Conflict is an inevitable and normal part of marriage that, when handled correctly, is healthy. Married couples are not going to be completely happy and on the same page about everything for the rest of their lives. Romantic comedies tend to portray getting married as the solution to all problems and unhappiness in life. This unrealistic idea that getting married will “complete” you can set young people up for disappointment in marriage. One romantic comedy that I think portrays a more realistic couple is I Don’t Know How She Does It. In the movie, Sarah Jessica Parker portrays a working mom with young kids. She and her husband both have jobs and very hectic lives. The movie portrayed the two having fights and disagreements, having stressful days, making difficult decisions, and experiencing many other normal parts of life and marriage. This depiction of marriage is much more in line with the story and lessons my parents have told me.

Kip Moore’s song “Hey Pretty Girl” is a good representation of what it means to share a life with someone. I chose this song because it shows real love that is both strong and lasting. The song references both the good and the bad in life and sends the message that having someone to share forever with is both a challenge and a blessing. It doesn’t say that life will be perfect when you find your soul mate, it will just be better. Moore sings, “Life’s a long and winding ride, better have the right one by your side.” Moore also sings about building a life together, saying “Let’s build some dreams and a house on a piece of land. We’ll plant some roots.” Finally, at the end, Moore does not romanticize his relationship or make it out to be something it isn’t. In the last line, he thanks God, singing, “When I see the light and it’s my time to go, I’m gonna thank the Lord for a real good life, a pretty little girl and a beautiful wife.”